Monday, March 21, 2011

Spammy Monday

I have a spam monitor on my e-mail account. Who really doesn’t these days?

Sometimes I’m moved to go look at it just to see what’s going on in there. I’m secretly suspicious that the spam account is having a party that I have not been invited to.

Turns out, it’s a party, alright…but its like the one you might find yourself at where you keep asking yourself, “is this real or am I in the Twilight Zone?”

For example, the United Nations is looking for some information from me to release my funds…I wonder what the UN is doing with my money in the first place. I’m not nearly that important.

Just to be fair, I have nearly the same email from the FBI, the national lottery (we have a national lottery?), and from some bank in London. Me and my funds are apparently quite diversified. I’m so lucky to have come into so much money all at once.

The best of these “we have money for you” emails, though, is from JIMMY WANG. Oh, how I want to go get my free money from Jimmy Wang. It’s quite difficult to resist the urge to follow that little link, let me tell you.

I have several offers for Viagra, diet pills, Cialis, Codeine and Xanax….good to know that the illegal drug trade is strong and healthy…and apparently unmonitored by anyone with an email account.

Rolex has assured me that my free Rolex is awaiting me…I have only to enter my address and personal banking information to receive it. I can complete the same offer for several new watches from different swiss watch distributers should I choose.

I can get some designer clothing for greatly reduced prices. Again, I’m wondering where all those knock-off busting officials are at this moment. Don’t they get the internet?

Oh, and there is one for a free power wheelchair…Why I need that I will never know.

I feel a little bit like my email account has been walking the sidewalks of Vegas, accepting hand out fliers for everything from free buffet meals and show tickets to peep shows and strip clubs.

Its somewhat shocking…and, well, makes me feel a little like I need to put my email account in the shower and give it a good scrub to get all the dirty underbelly of humanity off of it.

Do they make internet antiseptic? Or maybe pepper spray…

Happy Monday, everyone!

PS…stay tuned tomorrow for a Scrapbooking From the Inside Out Blog Hop.

4 comments:

Rachel said...

Hahahahha! I love your comparison to accepting fliers in Vegas--that is SO apt! Spot on! :)

I always get offers to enlarge my penis...hmmm...

Happy Monday to you as well. :D

Patty said...

LOL. About two months ago I got a spam email that was so insane. It was one where they have been hired by one of my best friend's to kill me but they rather save me and they need me to pay them off. OH and that they were watching me, lol. Hello I am still alive. I did send it off to the FBI internet crimes deal though. Hope they catch the idiots.

Meghann said...

Hehe! All of my spam emails are things that I can't post on my blog. =)

**** April **** said...

Did you know that I can grow a huge penis just from taking pills? :)

bwa ha ha ha ha