Its not like me to be utterly selfish...
I have a husband, two adorable little boys, magnificent friends and a job I love. So most days, I'm content to let others have their way with very little resistance. I cannot say NO resistance, because, as my husband would tell you, that is simply not true. I resist plenty often...but not a lot...just a little...
Anyway...I don't know if its spring upon us and my first peek at daffodils, or the fact that my house is once again in the throes of seasonal illnesses, or that I have just passed a 5 year anniversary with a company I thought I would only work at a couple of years, or of the fact that I have been swept far away from my own dreams by the life choices of those around me...whatever the reason, today, I feel SELFISH.
I want only what I want and nothing else.
I don't want to take care of anyone else, listen to anyone else complain or brag, accommodate anyone else's needs, desires, whims or follies, pick up after anyone else, cover for anyone else, anything. Period. for. anyone. Else.
I don't think this is an entirely uncommon feeling, especially among working mothers...I just think that women are often better at putting themselves aside out of duty than men and children and teenagers. I'm probably GROSSLY over-generalizing, but that is how I feel today.
So...anyway...I've been thinking, day dreaming really, about how I would spend time on just me. Here is my list so far:
Clean my house. Ok..that one is weird, I guess. But i would love to see a spotless floor, no laundry and shoes that remain put away for a longer period of time than the usual 10 minutes it lasts.
A long stint with coffee and the news paper
Get my journals, magazines and some tea and sit for a few hours just putting things into my journals.
Reading my Bible
Writing - It is not my personal wish to write a book...but I do like to write...maybe if I sat down and did it uninterrupted I might get something reasonable down on paper.
TV - lots of it...rediculous amounts of NCIS, NCIS: LA, Bones, all the CSI's, the Glades, White Collar, old SG-1 episodes, all my "death killer shows" as my hubs puts it.
Organize my computer files - I know where everything is, but it would be nice if I knew where it was AND it was someplace that made sense!
Walk...long, drawn out, meandering, walks of curiosity and pictures
Chocolate...I would need some chocolate
Paint with my new water colors
Experiment with different art projects.
Read my period mysteries with a bit of tea and some scones.
Go to the beach. Sit on the sand. do nothing else.
So, you see...my time alone, if I ever had any, would be spent QUITE differently than it is now.
Its a shame we don't get "selfish" time...or...that I don't get "selfish" time.
I could use it.
How about you? Could you use it? What would you do with it?