How carefully, I have crafted songs and blog entries in an attempt to get my point across about general topics without necessarily giving away the inspriation.
How purposefully, I have read books, jotted down quotes and stored the words of wisdom in my soul.
How blessed and cursed I have been to hear my child use my own words in his budding speech.
How painfully aware I have been that my words will contribute to the shape my child's personality takes.
Learning language is critical to our development as human beings - because it is through language that we are taught the concepts and details of all other disciplines. If you have doubt of this, try to explain without words to a 3 yr old why they shouldn't put their finger into an electrical socket. Without words, our only means of explanation of a concept is natural consequences. While powerful, natural consequences are not always the safest teacher...as in the electrical socket example.
Words are power.
They contain an essence that either builds or tears down, that either nourishes or deprives, that either nurtures or neglects.
How many times I've been hurt by the words of another...and how many times I've hurt.
It seems to me that God gave us a weapon more powerful than we are capable of handling when He gave us our tongues.
The Bible is filled with scriptures on the tongue...but the one that always gets me is James 3:8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
Full of deadly poison...
Proverbs 12:18 says Reckless words pierce like a sword
Deadly poison AND a sword!?!?!?
I've been following Brene Brown for some time now.
Her insights are powerful.
You see, she challenges to me to think long and hard, to pray continuously about how I speak to myself.
The truths about which she writes and studies affect me so much so that I will actually avoid her blog if I'm down in the dumps or short on time.
I avoid her and my Bible...why? Becuase I know that by reading the Truth in my Bible or the challenges she places in her writing, I will have to examine something in myself and pay attention to something important I have been neglecting.
This week, Brene has been celebrating worthiness on her blogk. This statement cought in my throat:
So many of us have knowingly created / unknowingly allowed / or been handed down a long list of worthiness "prerequisites."
These are the "I'll be worthy when..." statements we feed ourselves, the things we tell ourselves have to be done before we matter.
I was dumstruck.
I have so many of these prerequisites in my life...
When I lose weight.
When I have enough money in savings.
When others think I am good.
when my house is spotless - all the time...
ANd the list goes on and on and on...
Have you ever thought about how you speak to yourself? Have you ever thought about how recklessly you speak to yourself?
I find that I base my worth on things that in the longest of runs have little or no value to me I wish to be, the me I am promised in God's word.
This has me asking questions...lots and lots of WHY questions...
Why do I not shed my "fat girl" internal image and really experience the joy of exercising and living a life committed to healing and health?
Why do I not make time to care for myself?
Why do I not insist that my quiet time with God is more important than the 1000 trivial things I manage for my family every day?
Why am I not worthy of a housekeeper so that I can have some of my time back?
Why do I allow my creative spirit to be shelved for more practical tasks?
Why am I so busy and yet so...empty?
My self talk is poison! My inner tongue is a SWORD!
But words also have a positive power.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us The tongue has the power of life and death...
The tongue has the power of life!
Have you ever heard some one use the expression "speak life"?
No easy task. We try to speak life with our son, instructing him how we want him to behave and focusing on the positive, rather than always telling him what we don't want or warning him to "be careful."
But...I don't do this with MYSELF.
I am not speaking life internally.
I am not giving myself permission to live...in the now...and for the reasons that give my spirit wings. I am not coaching myself in a positive way!
So...today...I'm in a hurry to vow to make things different.
But I won't...I won't hurry this process...
I want to make things different.
I've said this before...but in my haste, I have slipped backwards into the habit of negative self-talk.
In my busy-ness I have ignored the Still Small Voice of God that says, "You are MINE child. You are a KINGS KID. You are WORTHY. and I LOVE you."
Words they'll try to shake you
Don't let them break you
Or stop your world from turning
When words keep you from feeling good
Use them as firewood and let them burn
Today...I'm just going to stop, listen, and feel how amazing it is to know without a doubt that I am worthy.
I'm going to start a fire...