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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

PROCESS…

aka…walking it out…

I realized that my choosing the word “renew” as my word for the year was going to be pivotal for my life this year. In discussing last year and my word choice for this year with Chaplain Mike, he pointed out that my plan was really to get back to basics…

Little did I know…

It seems like God, in His amazing wisdom, has placed before me several things that are HUGE, require focused attention for long periods of time and that are, in a sense, menial…

I’ve been a person in this life who could understand quickly, produce quickly, zoom through things in an organized fashion and come out on the other side fully aware of the details, fully aware of all that had been accomplished.

However, it seems this year will be about PROCESS…going through each step, carefully, consciously, and with a methodic plodding that I’m just not that used to.

As is always the case, God is working things out in me…having joy and faith in the face of something that I have to do, but don’t LIKE that I have to do, experiencing the moments as they pass, enjoying the journey one step at a time, recognizing that the process is more important than the results in many cases.

Most of all, though, I really believe that God is moving me from the instant gratification of His touch on my life – the fast and miraculous events He has brought to pass thus far – to a place where we meet on an everyday, every moment level.

I’m equating it to that first rush of new love vs. the long-term, trusting relationship of a marriage. God is moving me to that place where spiritual waters run deeper…

And I’m walking it out in my every day life…

I’ve got a huge documentation project at work…which will lead to another huge documentation project…which will lead to a testing, training, roll-out and yet another huge documentation project. It has hard deadlines, lots of work to be done and no way around it…only THROUGH it…so…I have to work it one step at a time, go through the process, walk it out.

In my zeal to make differences in our home this year, I’ve embarked on the planning for two projects that will take up lots of time…and again…have to be walked out one thing at a time.

For starters, I have to get some of the junk out of my studio and get back to the organized studio I’m used to. I’m more productive, more creative and happier when I’m not sorting and digging to find what I know I have. The initial project was to re-organize my ribbon…simple, no? NO! I started two weeks ago and I’m still working on it. My plan involves cleaning out my paper, reorganizing embellishments, adding storage, painting and re-arranging my space to be more conducive to my creative soul…and it is going to take TIME!

I’m also planning for the play room…I’ve got my sketches done, I’ve shopped for the components so I know what we will be spending. Now I just have to plan the time to do the work.

God is even presenting me with process through my Bible study. Our church is on a plan this year to read through the Bible together. It’s a commitment to read the chapters each day and a commitment to do so with a want-to heart instead of a have-to heart. Yet, even in this, God is revealing Himself and showing me what a long term relationship with Him is like, what it requires, the rewards and the peace that come with “marrying” myself to Him.

The process is the point…

There is so much power in this one little statement. Because I know that He is getting me ready, one step, one moment, one experience at a time for what is yet to come.

Peace, everyone!

1 comment:

Mary C. said...

Even the 'have to' heart is acceptable. Love in the God world is a verb, not a noun. Real love is behaving in a loving way, even when you don't feel loving. Obedience is doing what you know you should even when you don't feel like doing it.
Not easy, but somehow fulfilling anyway.
I'll pray for you. {{{HUGS}}}