Now…before I get off on my tangent, let me just say…I LOVE rules…meaningful, constructive rules. I completely believe in structure, in freedom within boundaries, in providing guidance in a wide-open world, in frameworks that are functional and useful. I most certainly will raise my son with boundaries and manners and a sense of decorum...
I despise these rules that are there just so that somebody who isn’t capable and/or conscious can feel better about themselves for putting a stranglehold on everyone else. Why can’t we celebrate how different and amazing we all are?????
Most especially, I hate the rules that are UNSPOKEN…the assumptions we seem to make collectively as a society that place false fences around those truly seeking growth and positive change…the assumptions we like to assign to things we don’t know or understand, to the things we are afraid to undertake, in an effort to make us feel better about our own choices…and lack of courage…like:
Tattoos mean you are bad, loose, or lost (or were at some point in your life)…or, Lord help us, a follower of the devil…(NOT!)
White in winter should only be winter white…
Hair is required to be a “natural” color to be acceptable…(such a shame this one…because there REALLY are some people out there who look great in blue and it’s a shame their hair cannot compliment their skin tone in this way)…
Tan = “healthy” – White = “unhealthy”
Alcohol is required for silliness, relaxation or just plain old openness…and no party is complete without it…and silliness, relaxation and openness without it is…well…weird.
Serious = boring
Intellectual = boring and/or geek
If you raise your hands during worship in church, you must be some kind of religious freak…aka Charismatic = insane. (People…the Bible says that David DANCED before the Lord!!!! And he wasn’t doing the White-Man-Shuffle!!! You should care LESS about what everyone else in church thinks of you and MORE about what God thinks of your worship and if you are really giving it all you've got!)
Red and pink and orange and yellow should not all be worn together in one outfit unless you are under the age of 6 or over the age of 70. (I think on this one, my God-daughter Miss. H has it all right…she looks just lovely when all these colors are mixed in her outfit and she is wearing all her favorite things and she is infinitely happy looking lovely in all her favorite things, so why the heck is it not allowed between the ages of 7 and 70?)
To be attractive, you must be thin, muscular, and have really white teeth…which usually means that you are starved, cranky, sore (from the workouts) and that everything you consume must be room temperature (because hot and cold HURT bleached teeth).
You are not allowed to express your feelings if you are starved, cranky, sore and bored with everything being room temperature. It is, after all, the price of "beauty." Who is selling you this idea of beauty anyway???
Emotion = bad (this is an especially destructive rule that men seem to adore! - unless, of course, they are a musician or artist. THEN its ok...as long as its THEIR emotion and not YOURS)
To be the SAME is better than to be DIFFERENT…but you must SAY you want to be DIFFERENT so that you FIT IN and are the SAME as everyone else. Uh…huh??? Yea…its fashionable to say you are or want to be different…meanwhile, you are worried that other people might think you look silly or odd…or…gasp…out of touch with “the times.” This is a mixed message that I simply cannot wrap my head around.
Success = stuff - does anyone remember that lesson from high school economics that states that the value of an object is equal to what it costs AND what you had to give up to obtain it? What are you giving up?
“Organic” is better – FYI – e-coli is “organic” and so is the untreated water that it grew in that was sprayed over the fields where the “organic” spinach was grown. PS…if it’s a processed, frozen tv dinner that you heat in the microwave, “organic” just means you paid more for zero nutritional value than the guy that bought the Hungry Man Salsbury Steak meal with fried potatoes and apple sauce. “Organic” does NOT always mean healthy! (or even organic for that matter)
The more activities your children are in the “smarter” they will be. (of course they will be too exhausted to demonstrate any of that “smarts” and are probably cranky, sore and attempting to control their emotions over the condition of their lives.)
And finally, my most favorite of all unspoken rules:
If you and I see things differently, somebody is wrong. And that somebody is you.
Have a thoughtful day!!!