That is my word for the year…
Here’s the thing…
I grew up a “fat” child…
When I look at pictures NOW of what I looked like THEN, I rarely see a fat child…
Still…it was my source of concern and woe for most of my developmental years…
So…here I am…36…three months post baby…and absolutely uncertain about where the heck THIS body came from.
I lost my pregnancy weight…
And despite what all the books and my doctor told me, I cannot believe that the pre-baby and the post-baby bodies would be so completely different. Am I even the same person?
Me and the mirror were already having relationship issues. The mirror and I have one of those co-dependent, love-hate, can’t-live-with-it-can’t-live-without-it relationships. But lately, the mirror and I are just frankly not getting along at all.
So…I started to look at myself and think...THIS is absolutely unacceptable. And, frankly, is driving me crazy.
When I got REAL, it dawned on me that I’ve gained 40 pounds since I was last happy with my body…40 pounds…and most of that was done in the three months between moving across the country and starting work in my new city. Yikes….
I researched a BUNCH of options: LA Weightloss was top on my list for awhile. Frankly, though, its very expensive and they require that you go through a weight loss period, a six week transitional period and a 52 week support period…and you pay the weekly fee for ALL of that time UP FRONT! I just can’t afford to be thin at that rate.
I thought about South Beach. But it’s a DIET, not a lifestyle change…and most of the “plans” I looked at had the same end result – they were not sustainable, lifestyle changes done gradually over a period of time.
Sorry Kirsty – Jenny Craig wasn’t even on my list…and for the record, neither was Nutrisystems. GREAT commercials…but I just cannot buy into boxed processed foods with all of their salt and chemicals. I think you lose weight because you can’t digest the darn food!!!
I thought about doing it myself…I mean I’m generally a healthy eater when I eat…I drink lots of water, snack on healthy foods, severly limit my processed foods and I don’t eat white bread at all. I don’t happen to care for fast foods and I’m not a big pasta eater…alas, its just not enough. Part of it is when I eat…and part of it is portion control…and part of it is I love sweet things and coffee.
WHY am I outing myself on this one?
I’m holding myself accountable for my choices and actions.
I’m focused on this truth.
And recognizing that even Superman has his weaknesses.
I need some help.
And I made a decision:
Weight Watchers, here I come.