Sunday, February 25, 2007

Developments and Discoveries…

…The little bug is now a big ‘ole 25 ½ inches and 15.2 pounds. The monkey shrunk again!

…Jay likes Jack’s Big Music Show on Noggin.

…Jay has a crush on Lisa Loeb, which, incidently, we found out because she was a guest on Jack’s Big Music Show on Noggin. How do I know? Well…because he kicks, smiles his huge smile and squeals like a crazy boy when she comes on the screen. He has good taste. This is what he looks like when she comes on the screen....Thank God for DVR!

…Jay got a Valentine bear from Grandma Barb for Valentines day (along with some Seuss books that he just loves!) He could not figure out WHY the cheeks lit up and if they were supposed to do that…But it didn’t stop him from reaching out and grabbing the bear. Yes…he DID try to eat it…we have pictures of that too…

…Weight Watchers is going good. If I focus and plan accordingly, I do GREAT. If I’m not focused and don’t plan, I still do good. Total loss so far is only 2 pounds…but awareness of my eating habits and the places I have trouble – GREATLY increased. If you have not done Weight Watchers, the awareness and effort to change habits is far more important than the 2 pounds.

…Speaking of eating, Jay had his first solids last week…well…not really…it was a pretty runny rice cereal. But, after making the this-doesn’t-feel-like-what-I’m-used-to face, he swallowed and opened his little mouth right back up again for more. 5 bites the first time, 5 bites the second time. I’m calling it a success.

...We’ve discovered he likes sweet potatoes. And that he wants to hold the spoon himself.

…When infants throw up, it seems like a lot more than they ate in the first place…and it literally gets EVERYWHERE!!!

…My little one doesn’t mind doctors, nurses, admitting professionals, x-rays, ultrasounds, pretty much anything in the emergency room. In fact, he smiles about it all so much that no one thought he was really sick. And even when he did seem a little irritated, he would calm right down to his smiley little self the minute I started to sing “Jenny Jenkins” to him a la Lisa Loeb…

…I still think Jordan Catelano is the greatest…ok…so I’m aging myself. But “My So Called Life” was one of those television programs that spoke to me. Thank goodness for reruns. Incidently, these are the things I discover when up with the little one in the wee hours.

…I’ve discovered that I’m not that good at being good to myself. I’m not good at defending a block of time for me to use as creative time. I’m not good at valuing myself highly enough to eat properly, purchased the right foods (even when they might be a little more expensive), or defend exercise time. I’m not good at standing my ground when I truly believe something might benefit me. I need to get better and taking care of me…I need to process that no one else is going to take care if I don’t. I need to be diligent, and fierce about defending those times and spaces that I set aside just for me. Its time.

…My friend Teri sent me a bunch of Tulips as referenced in a previous post. They are SO STUNNING and they completely brightened my whole world. WEIRD FRIENDS RULE!

...I've actually been doing a bit of scrapping, although I can't show you most of it becuase its for a Secret Pal Swap. But I DID make the set of monogram cards as a birthday gift...

Peace, Everyone!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Dreaming of…

…a 40 pounds lighter Felecia.

...a slush savings account that REALLY has the recommended 3 months salary in it all the time as a minimum.

…a scrapbook retreat weekend.

…new kitchen floor, cabinets, countertops and appliances.

…my new office/scrapbooking studio complete with built-in workspaces and French doors.

…a REAL date night.

…a big bunch of tulips.

…the bedroom painted and finished off with art and family photos.

…a Lexus RX Hybrid.

…my own scrapbook/papercrafting business.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Holy Horses, Batman!!!

First of all…THANK YOU to all my on-line buddies for their words of understanding and encouragement. I love the tips and the honesty. Its amazing to me how much we all share and how laying it all out brings us comfort and comraderie. We have more in common that we know, no?

Go Colts…(Sorry Kare)

I think this means that yesterday’s game marked the first time an African American coach coached the winning team in a Super Bowl and only the third time that somebody has won in the Super Bowl as both a coach and a player…Tony Dungy played for the Pittsburgh Steelers when they won the Super Bowl in 1978. (NO, I did not have that random fact memorized…I heard the announcer say something about it, so I looked it up.)

We went to a little Super Bowl party at the in-laws…lots of delicious junk food, including home-made French bread pizzas. YUM…Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that hungry. Fortunately, that means I didn’t eat a lot of junk..mostly veggies. Yea, me!

My adorable son REACHED for me yesterday…Daddy was holding him and he put his little arms out and leaned towards me…smart little fellow! I, of course, melted on the spot.

Speaking of my son, he rather likes football on the big screen. The colors and the movement FASCINATE him. He even got a little football from Grandpa Bob and Grandma Trudy that he clutched right to him when we gave it to him. He’s a natural! Now, we just need to work on his running game…HA! (I should start with crawling…)

My favorite Super Bowl commercial: The Blockbuster Mouse Second place: The ESL class learning how to ask for a beer in the various US dialects.

Opening entertainment – WOW!!! Really awesome…and Jay thought he was in a visual Candy Land…he even wiggled his little body to the music.

Billy Joel – ick. Love the guy SO MUCH. But he just didn’t sound good. Kudo’s to him, though for not altering the song to suit his purpose. I loved that.

Prince – mmmmm…not bad…hated the phallic guitar playing behind the curtain, tho. Let me just say – Prince, honey, lose the Tina-wanna-be dancers and the lady in the weird 70’s white outfit with wings. They do NOTHING for the show. And…well…you might want to lose the turquoise high-heeled boots too. At least when you play in the rain…I held my breath the entire ½ time show waiting for one of the four of those nuts to slip and fall.

I have virtually NOTHING to say about the game…I just wasn’t that invested. Liked the opening 92 yard return for a touchdown. Very impressive. Liked the interceptions. And really liked that the rain made for such an unpredictable game. Totally liked the idea that even professional sports players are klutzy in the rain – I felt ever so much more graceful!!!

All right…back to reality…


Thursday, February 01, 2007

I need help…


That is my word for the year…

Here’s the thing…

I grew up a “fat” child…

When I look at pictures NOW of what I looked like THEN, I rarely see a fat child…

Still…it was my source of concern and woe for most of my developmental years…

So…here I am…36…three months post baby…and absolutely uncertain about where the heck THIS body came from.

I lost my pregnancy weight…

And despite what all the books and my doctor told me, I cannot believe that the pre-baby and the post-baby bodies would be so completely different. Am I even the same person?

Me and the mirror were already having relationship issues. The mirror and I have one of those co-dependent, love-hate, can’t-live-with-it-can’t-live-without-it relationships. But lately, the mirror and I are just frankly not getting along at all.

So…I started to look at myself and think...THIS is absolutely unacceptable. And, frankly, is driving me crazy.

When I got REAL, it dawned on me that I’ve gained 40 pounds since I was last happy with my body…40 pounds…and most of that was done in the three months between moving across the country and starting work in my new city. Yikes….

I researched a BUNCH of options: LA Weightloss was top on my list for awhile. Frankly, though, its very expensive and they require that you go through a weight loss period, a six week transitional period and a 52 week support period…and you pay the weekly fee for ALL of that time UP FRONT! I just can’t afford to be thin at that rate.

I thought about South Beach. But it’s a DIET, not a lifestyle change…and most of the “plans” I looked at had the same end result – they were not sustainable, lifestyle changes done gradually over a period of time.

Sorry Kirsty – Jenny Craig wasn’t even on my list…and for the record, neither was Nutrisystems. GREAT commercials…but I just cannot buy into boxed processed foods with all of their salt and chemicals. I think you lose weight because you can’t digest the darn food!!!

I thought about doing it myself…I mean I’m generally a healthy eater when I eat…I drink lots of water, snack on healthy foods, severly limit my processed foods and I don’t eat white bread at all. I don’t happen to care for fast foods and I’m not a big pasta eater…alas, its just not enough. Part of it is when I eat…and part of it is portion control…and part of it is I love sweet things and coffee.

WHY am I outing myself on this one?


I’m holding myself accountable for my choices and actions.

I’m focused on this truth.

And recognizing that even Superman has his weaknesses.

I need some help.

And I made a decision:

Weight Watchers, here I come.