Monday, September 25, 2006

37 weeks.

37 Weeks

QUICK update:

I'm actually 38 weeks right now...

WHOAH!!

BUT, This was taken by Jerry at Matthews Portrait Gallery last weekend. If you are in the Charlotte, NC area and you have children, he is the most amazing photographer of children…he takes these great pictures outside, basically chasing kids around in their own element. It’s fabulous!!!

Anyway, there are two more that I ordered, but I have to wait 3 weeks to get them…sigh!

Most of all, I’m just blown away to see myself this way…it brings the experience of carrying Jayden home, right to the heart…and I appreciate my own beauty, the beauty that God gave me as a woman, perhaps truly for the first time. Honestly, it takes my breath away to see myself like this.

I believe so thoroughly that we are all made for certain things in God’s plan. I’ve gone through much of my life thinking, “Is this it? Is this one of my things?”

As I’ve moved though the recent months, I’ve come to realize that, though things may not be EASY, it’s the things that we surrender to that are those things that we are meant for. When I’ve struggled and fought and tried to control, things do not turn out. But when I surrender, when I say, “Ok, God. Here’s where I am and here’s what is going on and this is how I feel about it and I just can’t wrestle with it anymore, so take me where you want me to be and lets just do this.” THAT is when the magic happens…that is when we settle in and the grace of God shines through us.

And for me…this is one of those times.

Have an amazing day!

Peace everyone!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Nursery and Planning Ahead

With the exception of the glider, we are done with Jayden’s nursery:

Nursery

Nursery 2

Some of my favorite details:

Quilt

Pictures

Jayden

Zebra and Giraffe

Monkey in crib

Wooden Giraffe

Tooth Alligator

I've been finding recipes to make ahead this morning. Going to do some cooking over the next week or so to put easy-heat meals in the freezer. The more prepared I am for the changes to come, the better. I'm thinking spaghetti sauce, chicken pot pie and chili. Lots of things that are good for our autumn weather and also easy to freeze and re-heat!

Been cleaning and cleaning...partly nesting and partly becuase my fabulous ladies group is coming on Monday night. They are doing a Blessingway...I'm so excited about having company in our house...it will be our "first" company! Its the little things, remember?

Peace, everyone!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

09.11 and Little things:

“It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped.”
- Robert F. Kennedy -


Ok…so I avoided it…

Whether from pregnancy or from residual emotion, I avoided it all together – any and all reference to 9.11.01 – it was just to tender a spot to touch…

I didn’t personally lose anyone in the tragedies of 9.11. But, like a nation, I lost all of those people.

I watched the towers fall on that morning…from my sister’s living room in Colorado. It was horrifying. I felt that sense of panic, of urgency, like I needed to DO something. But I wasn’t even in a place where I could donate blood.

I prayed. And cried.

And yesterday amidst the memorials and songs on the radio and newspapers and tv specials, I just couldn’t immerse myself in that. I still cry at just the thought…lets not even get into anything else.

I don’t know if 9.11 or the baby had anything to do with it, but I cried simply because I needed gas in my car. I can’t even imagine what would have happened had I engaged in the emotional remembrance.

So, I avoided it.

-----------------------------------------------

I had an epiphany a few days ago…pulling tiny socks out of my dryer.

“Oh, my goodness, there is going to be a little boy in my house.”

And I was reminded once again that it’s the little things that make a world of difference to me. Its in the details that I become aware of the significance of things. I’m generally a big picture person, but I am learning that its when I pay attention to details that I find meaning in things.

Little socks…

A precious stuffed zebra from Kathy for Jayden’s nursery.

The little blue feet that Kathy put on everything for the shower she gave me – such a small but precious detail. She knows everything will have tiny blue feet – thank you cards and birth announcements and scrapbook pages…so she took the time to put tiny blue feet on everything – even the invitation!

The fact that Kathy saved boxes in advance because she knew I’d need to ship things home.

The kiss to my belly from Ryan, who was uncertain why I could not take the baby “out” for him to see. In the end, he didn’t care. He kissed the baby anyway.

The sweet dimples on Ryan’s face, when he smiled his adorable little smile.

The way that Haley helped out with gifts for the shower, sitting on the arm of the chair I was in. She wanted to help so badly and she did a fantastic job. And even more rewarding was the pure joy she got from being able to keep the tissue paper from each package.

Haley telling me that for a few days I was “Queen.”

The lemon cake from my favorite bakery that Sareta and Gina D got decorated with fresh flowers…it was lemon…it was from my favorite bakery…it had all the details.

Sareta’s wooden giraffe.

Gina’s reigndeer sweater and matching hat and gloves.

The signatures on the scrapbook pages created by my friends.

The fact that my wonderful ladies group wants to perform a blessing over Jayden’s nursery!

The fact that my co-workers gathered together for fellowship and to give us a tremendous gift!

The people in my life bless me so much!

And in the million beautiful, little gestures, the gestures that take time and thought and love, I find how loved I am.

In the little things, I realize that God’s hand is in my life and that He has surrounded me with the most amazing and wonderful people!

Peace, everyone!