“It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped.”
- Robert F. Kennedy -
Ok…so I avoided it…
Whether from pregnancy or from residual emotion, I avoided it all together – any and all reference to 9.11.01 – it was just to tender a spot to touch…
I didn’t personally lose anyone in the tragedies of 9.11. But, like a nation, I lost all of those people.
I watched the towers fall on that morning…from my sister’s living room in Colorado. It was horrifying. I felt that sense of panic, of urgency, like I needed to DO something. But I wasn’t even in a place where I could donate blood.
I prayed. And cried.
And yesterday amidst the memorials and songs on the radio and newspapers and tv specials, I just couldn’t immerse myself in that. I still cry at just the thought…lets not even get into anything else.
I don’t know if 9.11 or the baby had anything to do with it, but I cried simply because I needed gas in my car. I can’t even imagine what would have happened had I engaged in the emotional remembrance.
So, I avoided it.
I had an epiphany a few days ago…pulling tiny socks out of my dryer.
“Oh, my goodness, there is going to be a little boy in my house.”
And I was reminded once again that it’s the little things that make a world of difference to me. Its in the details that I become aware of the significance of things. I’m generally a big picture person, but I am learning that its when I pay attention to details that I find meaning in things.
A precious stuffed zebra from Kathy for Jayden’s nursery.
The little blue feet that Kathy put on everything for the shower she gave me – such a small but precious detail. She knows everything will have tiny blue feet – thank you cards and birth announcements and scrapbook pages…so she took the time to put tiny blue feet on everything – even the invitation!
The fact that Kathy saved boxes in advance because she knew I’d need to ship things home.
The kiss to my belly from Ryan, who was uncertain why I could not take the baby “out” for him to see. In the end, he didn’t care. He kissed the baby anyway.
The sweet dimples on Ryan’s face, when he smiled his adorable little smile.
The way that Haley helped out with gifts for the shower, sitting on the arm of the chair I was in. She wanted to help so badly and she did a fantastic job. And even more rewarding was the pure joy she got from being able to keep the tissue paper from each package.
Haley telling me that for a few days I was “Queen.”
The lemon cake from my favorite bakery that Sareta and Gina D got decorated with fresh flowers…it was lemon…it was from my favorite bakery…it had all the details.
Sareta’s wooden giraffe.
Gina’s reigndeer sweater and matching hat and gloves.
The signatures on the scrapbook pages created by my friends.
The fact that my wonderful ladies group wants to perform a blessing over Jayden’s nursery!
The fact that my co-workers gathered together for fellowship and to give us a tremendous gift!
The people in my life bless me so much!
And in the million beautiful, little gestures, the gestures that take time and thought and love, I find how loved I am.
In the little things, I realize that God’s hand is in my life and that He has surrounded me with the most amazing and wonderful people!