Thursday, June 29, 2006

Foot Fettish

Don’t ask me why these things even rise to the surface of my consciousness,
but they do…

I was in a meeting and the chair of the meeting took off his shoes in
the middle of the meeting and put his feet up on a chair…

And then…he wiggled his brown-socked toes…

Um…ok…

First note to self…don’t ever sit in THAT chair.

Second note to self… “OH, no he DIDN’T!”

Yes…he did.

And here we are, in this meeting, talking about serious issues and
resolutions…the shoeless man, three other men (who’s feet remained
firmly in their shoes) and the one lone woman…

All I can think about is those shoeless feet…over there….on that
chair…toes a-wiggling…

Yea…my focus is gone…

Is this appropriate meeting behavior?

Not for me…I cannot imagine ever…EVER…sitting in a meeting with several
other people, kicking of my shoes and plopping my feet up on a chair.

Now…I’m not a fanatic…really…

Ok…I have issues with the women who wear sandals and they sort of have
hooves…you know…that hard, cracked skin on the heels…I just don’t do
that…and frankly seeing other women do it grosses me out. I keep
thinking, WEAR TENNIES OR BUY A PUMICE!!!!! Or, gasp, get a pedicure…

But other than that, I’m just not that radical about feet…

I think shoes should be polished and have complete shoelaces…but that is
about where my fanaticism ends…unless of course you are wearing
sandals…in which case, see the above paragraph again…

And I’m a bare-footer. If I’m home, I’m barefoot or in my stocking
feet.


I prefer to be able to kick off my shoes and put them back on very
quickly…hence a lot of shoes that are the front-only or sandal kind…

I am a year-round flip-flop wearer…

If I’m in my best friends house, I’m barefoot or in my stocking feet –
as is she…they do not wear shoes in the house AT ALL! (note to
self…should start this in my own home to save the carpet.)

I have been known to kick off my shoes under my desk on hot days…You
know…when I’m ALONE!

I’ve been shoeless in groups when the occasion called for it…pool party,
on the beach, in Hawaii it seemed like everyone was barefoot everywhere,
at a party where we all left our shoes at the door, at my mom’s where
you take off your snowy boots in the hall so you don’t track a bunch of
muck all over the house…

But I can safely say, I’ve never gone sans-shoe in a meeting…it just
shouldn’t be done…and one should ESPECIALLY not wiggle their toes so as
to draw attention to the shoeless meeting feet.

It got me pondering my rules of etequitte…or…at least where I think a
shoeless foot is inappropriate…

Here’s my list..

Meetings, of course were at the top…because…well…you know…

ANYWHERE that food is within inches…so…if you are serving some snacks on
the coffee table, bare feet (or even those with socks and/or shoes!)
should not also be on that table. Not that I’ve personally ever seen
it, but I think I probably MUST say it…not on the dining room or kitchen
room table either!!!

In the mall…

In any store that doesn’t sell shoes…and let me further qualify this by
adding – AND you are trying on some of those shoes for sale. And let me
qualify this further…the grocery store sells flip-flop shoes…just by the
$2 things and leave your own tootsies ON, for goodness sake!

Any home where you have not been invited to remove your shoes…

Or where the floor is filthy…

Or where babies are crawling around…strange bare feet should not be on
the same floor as a crawling baby….

At church…unless you go to a church that has services on the beach…and
if you do, where do you go to church? I wanna visit!

In restaurants…again, unless said establishment WELCOMES such a
thing…like a taco stand on the beach or an ocean-facing walk-up ice
cream vendor.

Driving the car…this really bothers me…barefoot drivers…don’t ask me
why…I have no answer.

Riding any two-wheel (or three wheel) transportation…lets see…that
includes bikes and trikes and scooters and skateboards and motorcycles
and atvs and any number of other things…these are places to ALWAYS wear
closed toe shoes…I have an ugly toenail to prove it…I’ll post a picture
if you need further encouragement to protect your tooties and our
streets while riding such transportation…

In school…any type of class…college, grade, summer, basket
weaving…whatever…one exeption…if you are the recipient of a pedicure in
a cosmetology class.

At the doctor…really, ladies…barefoot and pregnant is an EXPRESSION…they
DO, indeed, make shoes in your size, even if that size has changed
considerably from what it was 9 months ago…

And finally, on the walk from your hotel to the pool…

One more thing…

Barefoot babies are cute…that’s allowed…but once they can walk and are
not obsessively removing their footwear, they should have their shoes
on…

Peace everyone!

1 comment:

Gina said...

I usually wear shoes all day because for some reason it keeps me in the "go" frame of mind. I usually kick them off when Rob walks in the door at 6 and we have our teatime. Then it's pretty much barefoot/sockfoot for the evening. But no shoes in a meeting...that's just wrong.