Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Beautiful...

So, if you read my blog with any consistency, you know I’m constantly moved by the words I hear in music or conversation or that I read… This got my ear this morning and I SO identified with it that I cannot get it out of my head.

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up
To cover it all
Crying myself to sleep
‘Cause I cannot keep their attention
Thought I could be strong
But it’s killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I’m dying for new life I

want to be beautiful
Make You stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone
Other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won’t You help me back to glory?

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart
And I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am in quite enough
You make me worthy of love
And beautiful
You make me worthy of love
And beautiful
Beautiful

(Its by from Bethany Dillon’s album Bethany if you are interested.)

So what struck me is how a isolating a lack of confidence or faith can be. And when I say “confidence or faith” I mean in who God has made you to be.

Each of us get stuck in what we are not at some point in our lives…

And each of us believes with every cell of our being that we are the only one to feel this way…

Even though we have read, heard and seen that there are millions of people in the world who might feel as we do, we cannot process into our hearts that we are not alone.

I cannot count the number of times that I have stood in front of a mirror and started sentence with “why can’t….” and ended it with something that I perceive as “wrong” with me.

How I long to be beautiful…

My problem is that I’m using a worldly definition of “beautiful” every time I stand in front of a mirror to begin that kind of dialog…

It isn’t that there is anything wrong with me…its that I cannot see myself the way Heaven sees me.

The only thing wrong with me is my eyesight…

We are all becoming…

We are all growing and learning and stumbling and trying…

Have you ever seen a child learning to walk?

This is how we must appear to God…

Have you ever thought, “How precious!” and held your breath and silently rooted for that little one to get up and try again every time they stumble?

This is how precious we are to God…and He is rooting for us to get up and try again…

He makes us each exactly the way we are…there are no mistakes. When you look out over the course of your life, can you believe it? I sometimes can’t.

And when He sees us, it is through rose colored glasses – red, actually…the blood of Jesus.

There will come a day when I will step out into the world with the full knowledge in my heart that I am beautiful in every possible way to God…

Because where I am deficient in and of myself there is Jesus to fill in the gaps…

And through Him, I am adopted into the family…

I’m a kings kid…

I’ve been blessed exceedingly, abundantly, above all my own wildest expectations…

I am quite enough…

I am worthy of love…

And I am beautiful…

And you are, too!

Peace, everyone!

2 comments:

Sam said...

How is it I always read exactly what my heart needs to hear when I drop in here? Just what I needed today (and probably tomorrow, and the day after that, and...)
Oh, and if you want anything from CA, let me know - See's, Trader Joe's, In & Out (although I don't think they ship too well)

Gina said...

Sam is so right. I feel the same way. Your posts are always so inspiring, so heartfelt. Just beautiful and just what I always need!