Monday, January 30, 2006


Read this today:

Have you ever in your life commanded the morning
And caused the dawn to know its place,
That it might take hold of the ends of the earth,
And the wicked by shaken out of it?

Can you lift up your voice to the clouds
So that an abundance of water will cover you?
Can you send forth lightenings that they may go
And say to you, “Here we are.”

Beautiful, isn’t it? Its such a vividly painted picture…of the dawn taking hold of the earth and shaking the wicked out of the night? Gorgeous…

Its from Job 38…

I was just stunned by the image of the dawn taking hold of the night and shaking it…and of the waters of the sky being commanded to pour out over us and of the lightening being commanded to its place….

Chris Tomlin has a song that paraphrases the words of Job:

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Its amazing to me that I worship a God who commands the dawn and the lightening and the rain and has set into motion the mechanisms within me to breath automatically, to see, hear, taste, feel, have compassion…simple things I take for granted every day, like walking and talking and eating and sleeping…these things were imagined by my God. I was created out of His imaginings…

Isn’t that AMAZING!

The intricacies of the human anatomy are beyond our very reason…we cannot begin to understand the interdpendence created within us in the form of blood and organs and bone and skin and all the individual cells that make us up, and the individual atoms that make up our cells.

If you have any inkling of physics, you understand that atoms are mostly SPACE between revolving particles…by that definition, we are actually constructed more of empty space than particulate matter…We are universes unto ourselves if you think of it. If every atom is a solar system (and they are quite similar, if remember your Jr High science)…and every cell is a galaxy made up of various solar-system-like atoms…then we are EACH a vast universe…

Yet we are held together and and functional, breathing and feeling.


Do you ever ask yourself WHY???

What is the life force that holds us together, being mostly space…

Scientists have broken us down to our very atoms…They can identify each component and its operation, but they cannot tell you WHY the atoms of the cells in our liver, for example, funciton differently that the atoms in the cells in our skin…or why the atoms in each of these things STAY in each of these things rather than dispersing off into the atmosphere.

Truly, truly amazing. To me there is no greater case for a Creator than our amazing bodies…And something we all take for granted in one way or another – the indescribable, inconceivable miricle of our very lives….

And our God loves us enough not only to set every atom in our body into motion, like a million tiny solar systems in a vast universe…and millions of millions of universes in the human population on this planet…but He loves us enough to want a PERSONAL relationship with us.

Whoah….I cannot begin to understand why the being who created every atom in my body would want to know me…

I cannot understand.

And just ONE glimpse at the amazing constructs of my very flesh and blood, strike me dumb with awe.

I am completely unworthy…

Peace, everyone!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Empty Space

Experimenting with white (empty) space - both in my art and in my life - and clearing out my mental clutter.

Disney R 1 copyDisney R 2 copy

Disney H 1 copyDisney H 2 copy

It’s a beautiful day here, but cold…I’m inside doing laundry…ah, the mundane tasks of just living…sometimes they just gotta be done!

The process, the method, going through the steps…its soothing in its own way – not to have to apply any special thought to it, just sort, and then wash and then dry and then hang or fold…and then move on to the next load…and when I am done, I breathe a fresh AHHHHHHH…and something that is “hanging” over your head is finished and you have a clean slate.

So nice to check something of my list, in this time when there are not many things on my list and I get distracted from all the open time in my life.

I feel like that Cathy comic “ACK! WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?”

Tough for a type A personality to not have anything scheduled…ha!

I should ponder this some more…why can I not just chill out and enjoy the time and the space now that I have it? Is it because I’m not in control of its timing? Is it because I do not have a long list of things I know are waiting for me at the other side of my time-abyss to keep me focused on the emptiness of this? Is it because I do not appreciate the rest that God is giving me? I don’t know, but it is worth thinking about.

One thing is for sure…I am not currently equipped to handle long expanses of time with no scheduled appointments…must work on that!

Peace, everyone!

PS...KareBear? gimme some feedback on these...either here or on peas...I need your honest opinion!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Joy of Shopping…

Seriously, I should write a book like that...

I LOVE shopping - junking, thrift stores, high dollar stores like Nordy's, Target, you name it...I even like to browse in Home Depot!!!

I had the BEST shopping day yesterday…

For starters, my local Michaels has some new ribbons in and I BINGED on them…

I got all of these: (the jar has 5 different ribbons in it…all in colors that coordinate with the COMPLETE Daisy D’s Attic Heirloom’s collection I have coming in a week or so). Isn’t that green paisley and orange paisley CUTE????? AND ALL of the rolls were either in the $2 or $1 bin AND all of them are at least 3 yards except the white with green and brown polkadots…that one was only 4 feet, but too cute to pass up. OH, I’m officially a ribbon addict! NOW…what to use these lovely things on?



THEN I went to Big Lots and found these LOVELY little tins for 99 cents each….As you can see, I’m using them for my big flowers….I’m going to get more today! SO cute! You can kind of tell that the tops still have price-tag schmutz on them...they are acrylic and not glass, so I don't want to scrub them, or they will scratch...any handy hints about how I could get the schmutz of the lids???


AND, I found this 8 by 8 scrapbook album for $5!!! Its cloth covered and has 15 page protectors in it…AND it too will go perfectly with the Daisy D’s collection…I feel an album idea coming on!


On another note…STILL struggling with whether or not I should enter the Hall of Fame. I’d have to work like the devil himself to get everything ready to go and its all due by 2/6. I’m torn…Yesterday I wanted to, today I don’t, tomorrow, who knows? Sigh…such a delima!

Happy day, everyone!!!


Monday, January 23, 2006

Filling the well...

I have been BUSY!

Actually, I got on this card kick and then, when I had all kinds of scraps on my scrap table, I couldn’t just move on…I had to use up those scraps and make some more cards!

So…I did these: a few more to add to the first set of post card Valentines:

Valentine Card 1.9 copy

Valentine Card 1.8 copy

Valentine Card 1.7 copy

And then I did these from a single sheet of really cool SEI paper…

Valentine Card 2.4 copy

Valentine Card 2.5 copy

Valentine Card 2.3 copy

Valentine Card 2.2 copy

Valentine Card 2.1 copy

So…I have a question:

Would you ever BUY cards like these?

And if you would, how much would you pay for them?

Would you want them in a set or individually?

Ok, that’s three questions…but Mom and I had a chat last night and it got me thinking…so I’m curious.

On another note:

Found this lady on Pandora and I love her sound…

its smoky and sweet…and oddly Cher-like…she’s worth a check-out if you like a contemporary folk/country sound.

I am so in love with that only-guitars-and-soulful-voices-meaningful-lyrics sound…its what I was born to love and to do…for the moment I’m quite isolated musically – which is both cool and lonely.

I long for other musicians around me to connect with, to jam with, just to create with.

BUT I also like this down time – time to refresh artistically and seek new inspiration outside of the peer influence, to find new meanings in the same things and see things with a fresh vision.

While it has its lonely moments, I feel as though I’ve been re-awakened artistically…there is no competitive, or comparative quality to it. It just feels new and alive to me and so I am thankful for this isolated place for the moment.

I know that, due to my nature, this cannot last forever, or I will feel like I’m suffocating.

But for now, its good…its peaceful…and its renewing.

Peace, everyone!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Valentine Cards…

I went “junking” the other day and came away with a great stash of vintage-style postcards for $1 a set – 12 to a set. FABULOUS find! So, yesterday, I put in a movie and settled myself to make some valentines…This is what I have so far:

Valentine Card 1 copy

Valentine Card 2 copy

Valentine Card 3 copy

Valentine Card 4 copy

Valentine Card 5 copy

Valentine Card 6 copy

Peace, everyone!

Friday, January 20, 2006


My mom sent me a story about a 92 year old blind man who has to go live in a nursing home, but who made a decision to LOVE it, no matter what…at the bottom of the story was this:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

I absolutely LOVE this…

It expresses so much where my focus has been recently.

Freeing my heart from hatred has been a very difficult thing. I am a person who tends to keep track. About a year ago, I started a program through my church called Breaking Free…and it was the most amazing first step of a life-long journey I could ever have taken. Every aspect of every relationship I have changed with the things I learned in that program! It was most certainly NOT what I expected and was much more than I could ever have imagined…I still carry the tools with me in my tool box. But I MUST remember to USE them regularly, every day, without fail and in all situations so that I don’t begin to keep track of things that I feel were slights to me. Its an effort…I have to be mindful of myself. That is really a key for success with this – be mindful.

Freeing my mind from worries is next to impossible. I know the score. I remember the details. I see and understand the consequences of certain decisions. And true to my worrier’s nature, I have a “prepare for the worst” approach. The problem for preparing for the worst is that to do so, you must focus on it. And when you focus on the worst, when you meditate, you worry. But the Word tells us that worry is wasted, it is sin. Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” The Bible also asks the all important question: Will you add even one more day to your life by your worry? Probably not…again, I have to be mindful.

Live simply – this has been on my heart since we moved. Its surprising how few our “our things” are required for peace and comfort. While I realize that is because we are using someone else’s dishes, washer and vacuum, and that these things of ours will be used when we are in our own home, it is painfully clear that around ½ of the things we moved all the way across the country should be sold, given away or thrown out. And this is AFTER I already took 4 trunkloads of things to the shelter or trash. I think I will apply the Junk Gypsy philosophy to my things when we move – if you love it, keep it. If you don’t get rid of it. And this will be my motto in the future – firstly do I NEED it and if I do, is this the particular one that I LOVE…it will keep our lives so much simpler!

Give more – this used to be a condition of my personality…I was ever generous. But as time has worn on, I’ve become less giving – probably because I felt that the people I chose to give to where not deserving. But I’ve been coming around to a new philosophy on giving. First of all, you must sow to reap. Second of all, if you are moved to give, your obedience lies in the giving rather than the determination of whether the recipient is deserving. And third of all, no matter how little I have, there is always somebody far more needy. I have lead an increadibly blessed and full life thus far. I know I have things that I can share or give to others that will cost me nothing to part with and will sow my blessed life into the lives of others.

Expect less…ah…me and my expectations. I have rather high expectations of myself. The trouble is that I apply those same expectations to others. While a certain level of expectation is appropriate, the high level of expectation I tend to have is not healthy. I should not ever expect somebody to be like me…for it is in our differences that we are glorified. Once again, I must be mindful of where the appropriate level of expectation is and leave it at that. There is a point at which I have to let go! I have to let go!

Peace, everyone!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Foiled again…

I have been up since well before dawn...

I did my exercises this morning with the rising sun…GOOD MORNING that feels great! It makes me happy…and well oxygenated.

So then, I applied for 5 jobs, read my Scriptures, made coffee, drank two “wheelbarrows” full of coffee and had breakfast all before 9…a record in our house.

My PLAN was to finish my job applications, shower, go get the mail and then have lunch…

THEN I was going to do laundry and scrapbook away my afternoon…

Alas, today was the day that the IL’s are having the carpets cleaned….ugh…

So…into the shower I go, get dressed in a mad rush, and then get my junk together to leave the house…

Scott cannot work while they are doing the carpets because the floors in the office are the first to be cleaned and then will be wet for 4 hours afterward…so, I asked him to come with me to the coffee shop so I could finish my marathon job hunting and do some blogging…

This, of course, requires much discussion with his boss, my father in law, about should he go or should he stay, and if he goes, should he take the business lap top with him or will FIL need it at the house…and if he doesn’t take the laptop, what is he going to do when he gets to the coffee shop…

Decisions are made:

We will go to Barnes and get him a new book…

And then have lunch…

And THEN go to the coffee shop so I can get on the Internet and get to the rest of my resume e-mailing for the day…


Two hours after I planned to get to the coffee shop, here we are…all jobs applied for and I’m blogging…

And he has a book and is happily reading with his I-pod set to “annihilate.”

And I’m struck by the fact that other than the things I accomplished before 9, the entire plan of my day was FOILED! YIKES!

No scrapping will be done today…and I doubt I’ll get my laundry done today…so I’ll have to do it tomorrow. Not such a big deal, because my schedule isn’t exactly booked…still I had a goal to complete at least one scrap project per day and I am already behind, this being the 2nd day of the week and I’ve completed…ummmm…lets see…ZERO projects!

Oh, dear…

So, I guess I’ll get up before dawn tomorrow and try this plan all over again…first the exercise and sun rise, then the coffee and scriptures, then a shower and then job applications until I’ve exhausted the new stuff out there…and then, scrapbooking and laundry…


I’m having de ja vu.

But I can't wait!!!

Peace, everyone!

Friday, January 13, 2006

How profound…

Its raining again...and I flippin' LOVE IT!

I wish we had a covered porch so I could just go out and sit in it and listen to it beat down on the roof and smell it...

I'm addicted to how amazing it somebody took some lemon cleaner and scrubbed the heck out of the air...mmmmmm...

Its gray...and so I'm locked inside...


Yes, again.

The thunder, rain and lightening quiet me. Amazing - what God can display in His might. Amazing the planet he's given us to live on. Amazing how it survives, despite our best efforts. Amazing how one small display can bring the hive to a complete standstill





Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from.

I love that song…

Its Gavin De Graw for any one who doesn't recognize the line...thinkin' a lot of the people who would visit here might not recognize it.


Love it.

But I don’t think I ever paid any attention to it. Well. At least not MUCH attention.

No secret to anyone that I LOVE words. Songs for me are ALL about the poetry. Most things are about the words...they are powerful weapons that cannot be retracted once used.

Most people don't understand that they speak life, or happiness, or death, or pain, or whatever right into existence. They think they can take back things said. They think that they can erase words logged in grey matter and beating red heart by saying "I'm sorry."

When I hear something...

I ask myself - what are you SAYING to me?

Does it MATTER to me?

Does it MATTER to anyone besides you?

WHY does it matter to you?

And...English being what it is, there is MUCH that can received from a set of words that is not necessarily what was SENT with those words...

To quote my husband, "its not what you say, its how you say it."

For example, the phrase, "I knew 400 degrees was too hot." wouldn't mean much to most people...but to ME it represents a powerful verbal slap in the face.

But I digress.

So, anyway…

I’m fascinated by this statement today:

Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

He's talking about his parents...

And their love...

and I'm taking the line TOTALLY out of context...

And thinking...


Run the line over and over again in your head...

You'll get it.


Phrases kept popping into my head.

And thought, "OOOOOOO! THAT's a good one!"

They all have one thing in common – out of context they are profound:

It ain’t pretty when pretty leaves you with no place to go.

Love’s on your list of things to do…

Life’s like an hourglass glued to the table.

What I’d give for an address up on Easy Street

And I hope my hasty heart will forgive me just this once if I stop to wonder how on Earth you are.

Now I understand what it means to give your love to just one man.

It was a beautiful let down the day I knew that all the riches the world had to offer me would never do.

Driving away from the wreck of the day and its finally quiet in my head.



Peace, y’all.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

First Day

I am not a fussy person…

I do not have shelves littered with chachki’s in my home…(before anyone goes crazy, I said MY home…I’ve seen some BEAUTIFUL homes with lots of trinkets!)

I dress simply in solid colors and mix-n-match separates.

I do not own shoes or handbags to match every outfit…rather I stick to basics – shapes and colors – and know that the concept of a 6 piece wardrober REALLY can get you through a vacation.

I’m not a fussy person…I like substantial furniture in solid rich colors and wood floors, tables and other accessories when ever possible.

I’d call myself Pottery Barn, but there are moments when even that can seem fussy to me.

I’m not modern, because I love the patina of old things, the glow they seem to have and I adore the comfort of “cottage.”

In fact I’d call my self an American Arts and Crafts person or maybe mission – beautiful in form and function, slightly adorned, gorgeous colors, hand made, crafted and beautiful all on its own, substantial and simple, but warm and inviting, earthen tones, a focus on natural beauty, layers of history and lots of planning.

I do collect perfume bottles – gorgeous perfume bottles. But when I have a home of my own (we are currently NOT in our own home) they will be artfully and tastefully displayed to enhance the beauty of each piece. (even if I have to hire somebody else to tell me how to accomplish that!) And I have a passion to collect artful objects…but not just ANY object and not to clutter up my spaces. My eyes are always drawn to substantial, folk-style pieces…pieces with years of story behind them, where the detail is in the layers that are peeling away - a story being gradually revealed rather than a fussy, trinket-like nature.

I like for things to have a place and for that thing to always, and I DO mean always, to go back into that place. I like to open a drawer and find what I expect to find IN that drawer.

I’m just not a clutter, fuss and fidget sort of person. I like order. I like simplicity. I like the concept that spaces are not filled up with STUFF, but with people and laughter and memories…and that the furniture a home does contain resonates with the life lived around it.

That said, I’m a little taken aback by the scrapbooking and paper-crafting style that seems to have emerged in my work…and my writing! I’m trying to get in touch with the emotions, to dig below the patina and get to the substance. And I find that my work is very busy, very tactile, and conversational in nature. Its not at all what I would expect if I took stock of my life and the things I like to surround myself with. What is pleasing to my eye is full of varying images and expressions…like the clutter I banish from my normal life is finding its way into my art as a release…its sort of boggling…but scrapping in a more simple way has just not been very satisfying!

I’m always seeking balance, in my life and in my work, but the balance I find in my work has become full-to-the-brim balance. Its odd…and wonderful…and that I have a style emerging at all is a satisfying thing…who’d a thunk?

That said:

My lastest Miss H layout!

First Day copy
First Day P1 copyFirst Day P2 copy

Peace, Everyone!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Latest Layout

This is a gift book for my friend Kathy – her adorable kids at the pumpkin patch.

Front Cover copy
pp 2-3 copy
pp 4-5 copy
pp 4-5 w pullout copy
pp 4-5 w pullout open copy
pp 6-7 copy
pp 6-7 w pullout copy
pp 6-7 w pullout open copy
pp 8-9 copy
Back Cover copy


“But every road is tough to me that has no friend to share it.”
Elizabeth Shane

Today, I’m filled with overwhelming joy at all the friends God has provided for my journey through life…

Firstly, I have family friends like my mom, my sister and my aunt. They are blood, to be sure, but they are friends because that is how we choose for it to be. These are the friends that are always there, no matter what, who will only be separated from my by death.

I have my husband friend…my best friend and my worst friend all rolled into one really hot guy with a silly streak the size of the Grand Canyon and a hope and joy unparalleled by any other human being on the planet.

I have friends who have known me forever. They know of my high school days, my crazy antics in college, my first marriage, my wild times.

I have friends with children whom I watch carefully, taking note of what works for them and what does not. These friends let me share in the lives of their children, gift me with a small piece of the wonder that is parenthood.

I have friends who are incredibly grounding. These are the friends who can help me find my foothold when I’m swinging wildly from the end of my rope.

I have weird friends – friends who will march through the grocery store singing at the top of their lungs, go for “spy on the man” drives with me and who will send me crazy things in the mail because the crazy thing reminded them of me. These are the friends that I can sing at the top of my lungs with, that will sit quietly while I recount an overly dramatic story, that will laugh like crazy if I spill tartar sauce all over the front of me.

I have older friend who teach me about life, who share knowledge and comfort, who help set my expectations for the future and who have climbed the mountains I want to climb. These are the friends that help me find the laughter in my life, who help me celebrate all the qualities of being a woman.

I have inspirational friends, women of God who are boldly forging a path of righteousness, sometimes loudly, sometimes in a way that seems strange or foreign, sometimes in a quiet and peaceful way, always because they are certain of where God wants them to be and they want to remain in obedience.

I have scrapbooking friends, women who share my passion for this art and whom I would never have met if not for the hobby. These are friends of all shapes, sizes, colors and occupations who share their vastly different lives, perspectives, opinions, and feelings with an openness and humor that is as refreshing as a cool mountain spring. These are friends who fill me up artisticly and intellectually and emotionally and, of course, with laughter.

There are blog friends, women I would not know if I ran into them on the street, but who enrich my life and my vision by sharing their individual stories and perspectives with me. Through them, I have learned of patience, of bravery, of the joy of opening one’s heart to the needy, of the challenges of life and motherhood, of new artistic visions and, of course, of new places to SHOP!

I have friends who are fellow musicians. These are friends who share my great love of music and who have always opened their arms and hearts to me. Again, these friends are vastly different one from the other and all from me. We share a very precious gift, the gift of music, a gift from God, granted to those who would raise the praise and worship to the One who gave the gift. These friends are hugging, loving, sweet, peaceful, bold and sassy friends.

I have friends who have helped me along my journey of forgiveness and wholeness. These are friends who have taken it upon themselves to sow into my life, perhaps without getting anything in return but the knowledge that they have sowed something meaningful and healing into my life. These are the friends that have only the expectation of giving of themselves and their prayers.

I have shy friends with whom silence is the shared moment. Friends who take joy and comfort in just being together. These friends are about the peace and comfort of closeness and volumes are spoken in the silence.

I have long-lost, newly recovered friends, fabulous friends with exceptional gifts and mighty talents. These are the friends who are surprising friends to me…as though we never were apart, and stronger in friendship now than we ever were before. These are friends that share exciting news and exceptional heartbreak, who encourage and are encouraged, who share a bond that sometimes seems too amazing to be real.

I have a hair-dresser friend. This friend has done my hair for 17 years! For anyone counting, that’s 4 years of college, 4 bands, 2 husbands, 1 divorce, 11 moves, the close of my teens AND my 20’s and on into my 30’s…and that is just MY side of the story. This is a friend who has made me feel beautiful each and every time I’ve visited and who always has something cool to share about music, movies, entertainment gossip, and our mutual friends.

Some of my friends fit into more than one category, who are many many things to me. Some are just in one category.

All of them are precious gifts to me, valuable jewels, treasured beyond even their wildest imaginations.

I’m not good at keeping in touch with many of them. I get in a hurry.

But, always they are on my heart, this one here and that one there.

And always I am amazed at how wonderfully different and varied the fabric of my life has become because of each of them.

So, today, I say “thank you” and I send prayers for each of you.


Monday, January 09, 2006


At 5:54 this morning, I experienced the most extraordinary treat…

Complete and utter silence.

No dogs barking…

No snoring…

No little doggy breathing…

No banging cupboards…

No voices…

No cars…

No planes…

No TV…


Not even a breeze…

The window was open and I could smell the fresh air but it was completely quiet.

Absolutely fabulous, that few moments of silence…

Like the moment before you open a beautifully wrapped package…

It was filled with possibility…

And peace…

And anticipation…

I didn’t even want to breathe…

For just those few moments, I just wanted to be in the silence…

To exist in that perfect, empty moment…

To feel the quiet of it pressing on my skin and seeping into my ears…


Peace, everyone!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Memoires of a Geisha

If you haven't seen

We heard a group of people leaving the theater after seeing it...

It was obvious they didn't get it...

Not too surprising, actually. Its a movie you need to be paying attention to...and its full of things that are shocking in their way. And, well, the nuances of Japanese history and culture may not be high on the list of things interesting for some folks...

BUT it is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. Visually, a complete feast. Really phenomenal cinematography and costuming...I was blown away by what it LOOKED like. There colors are just stunning...really...I can't tell you how beautiful a movie it is.

And John Williams did the score for the soundtrack...the music is beautiful.

Scott downloaded the soundtrack and we have been listening to it when we first go to'll take any and all stress right out of you!

And hey - John Williams! He and Danny Elfman are DA MAN when it comes to movie scores...DAAAAAA DAAAAAA DA DA DA DAAAA DAAAAAA! (STAR WARS, BABY!)


Friday, January 06, 2006

Christmas, Disney and Toxicity

My take on Ali’s Christmas Card Layout …this was SO inspiring and SO liberating…I don’t have to keep EVERY card I receive and Christmas IS over, so every card got a piece of the layout to call its very own…the right page is random pics from our first holiday here…There were not enough of any once event to make a page of their own, so I carried the idea of punching out the moments for that side too….very cool to do a picture representation of the Holidays…far less pressure and I didn’t have to find something uplifting to journal about.

Christmas 2005 copy

I also had to do a layout for a circle journal with a Disney theme…I’m SO NOT a Disney person…I can totally take it or leave it…so, after wracking my brain for hours and hours, I thought I’d focus on my favorite Disney movies. And I found out that I AM a Disney person in a way – I love the movies!

Disney Circle Journal copy


THIS has been in my head for a couple of days…

Where I can run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill

And I have been meditating on things that are TOXIC in my life…

During my morning reading, I read THIS in Holly Wagner’s God Chicks :

“We champion chicks should watch what is going into us…and I’m not just talking about food. I’m talking about what we ingest, not just through our mouths, but also through our eyes and our ears. We need to make sure that we are reading books that will help us along the journey. I love movies, but I don’t just see every one out there. I try to be a bit careful with what I allow in. … I love all kinds of music…but I’m careful about what I listen to. I love spending time with people, but I’m careful that I don’t surround myself with gossip. What I allow in will affect me, so I am as careful as I can be. Guard yourself against the junk out there that would hinder you from running your race with excellence!”

And what comes to me is how toxic our world is…

There are toxic movies that cause you to sacrifice your morals or your beliefs or to question what you have always known to be true.

There are toxic books that “enlighten” us to do, say, feel and be things that are poisonous to us.

There is toxic music full of hate and prejudice and overtly sexual imagery.

There are toxic people who are carrying tons of baggage and hatred who don’t want you to be happy because they cannot be happy.

Our food is over-processed and full of chemicals.

Our soil no longer provides full nutrients because it has been over-worked.

And in this wash of toxicity are people trying to find happiness and wholeness and health and peace.

I am profoundly struck by how diligent we need to be in policing the boundaries of our beings. It’s a strange dichotomy – we need to be open, but we need to be closed. We need to be accepting, but we need to be judicious. We should be willing to receive, but we should be selective about what we actually take in.

I am recalled to Paul’s assertion in 1 Corinthians 10:23 that “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.”

I am allowed to ingest anything I darn well please….but it is not for my profit to do so.

I had asserted some time ago to detoxify my life…in one very important sense, I have done just that…I’m all the way across the country from many of the things that were toxic to me. Funny thing about relocation – Where ever you go, there you are. Its still me making choices about what I do and do not choose to internalize from the influences around me.

Strong medicine for where I am at right now in life. There are people I love in my life…that I love very much. But perhaps they are in my life so that I can influence them to be less poisonous, rather than allowing them to make my life more toxic.

Here is to good decisions and less toxic lives – choose judiciously, because garbage in will always produce garbage out.

I have no intention of producing garbage…therefore I choose not to accept the garbage offered to me.

How do you choose?

Peace, everyone!