Sunday, July 31, 2005

Been on vacation...

just got back...will post something interesting tomorrow....sometime.....

HUGS!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Exasperation and PB&J...

I read this scripture and I thought of…well….ME!!

It happened that as we were going to the place of prayer, a slave-girl having a spirit of divination met us, who was bringing her masters much profit by fortune-telling. Following after Paul and us, she kept crying out, saying, "These men are bond-servants of the Most High God, who are proclaiming to you the way of salvation." She continued doing this for many days. But Paul was greatly annoyed, and turned and said to the spirit, "I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her!" And it came out at that very moment. -- Acts 16:16-18 --

There is another translation that reads “Paul was exasperated…”

Exhasperated.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, to exasperate is to make very angry or impatient; annoy greatly.

I thought HOW like me…how like an evil spirit…

Picture it:

Something has happened that is a bit annoying. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You ignore it. You’re trying to be nice.
It happens again. You turn on your heel and yell SHUT UP and GO AWAY!!!!

Sometimes in an effort to be nice, we try to ignore something that needs to be addressed at its onset. Especially these days, when being PC is so important.

How often do you feel you are not allowed to be kindly honest when somebody does something that is annoying, out of line, wrong?

It’s a fine line…at what point do we move from developing our love walk and patience to being walked on? At what point do we cross from being polite to being abused?

And how many times does evil take advantage of the cultural demand to be PC to get under our skin, to pry open our hearts and plant bad seed, to place layer of annoyance upon layer of annoyance until we are exasperated? Until we’ve taken so much that we express ourselves with fighting words?

I guess the point is this: Tolerance is not acceptance and it is not love and it is not honesty and it is not kindness. It is learning to put up with something you don’t like, want, or need. To tolerate may not necessarily be a good thing.

Does that mean we should all be running around bashing each other on the head? NO!

It means that the REAL solution to worldy problems is to SPEAK UP! Say something! Do it in LOVE while you still have control of your tongue, while you can still put a smile on your face and keep your cool.

If we can speak to one another in love, to gain trust and understanding, to tell the truth, to listen with an open heart, then we can build relationships. If we build relationships, we learn to love one another despite our differences. We learn to accept, rather than tolerate.

Be warned, honest speech in love is hard to do…it hard to be the speaker, its hard to be the listener…it’s a learning experience…and sometimes it hurts…but its necessary…

Start now. Don’t wait until you are exasperated

On another note:

Don’t you love it when you connect with somebody? When you are so on the same wavelength it’s like oneness?

Scene: I never eat before Wednesday night service. I sing and have to be at the church at 5:30 to run the songs. Sometimes I barely have enough time to get home and change, let alone feed myself.

Last night was no exception and I was STARVING when service was over.

Scott came to service in a separate car and left immediately after service – I stuck around to speak to Pastor’s wife.

All the way home, I was thinking, “Man, I’m making a PB&J and I’m taking it to the bedroom to eat while I watch a little TV before bed.” My mouth was WATERING for it!

When I got home, Scott had already prepared the sandwich and placed it on my nightstand with a little napkin and a glass of cold water, with the TV remote right beside it.

I almost jumped for joy.

Gotta love it when you connect!!!

Friday, July 08, 2005

From the Divine Miss H...

Yesterday was Miss H’s birthday.

She is now five. Five…

I called her to wish her a Happy Birthday because I cannot be at her party on Saturday…This was our conversation:

DMH: Hello?

F: Is this H?

(I’m shocked she is answering the phone herself and that she does it so well…sigh…she’s five…)

DMH: Yes…

F: Hi! Its Aunt Felecia!

DMH: Oh, Hi…

(She was apparently expecting my call…)

F: Isn’t it your birthday?

DMH: Well, actually, its been cancelled because everyone had a work day today. We moved it to Saturday.

(Actually? Cancelled? SHE’S FIVE!!!!)

F: Its been cancelled?

DMH: Uh-huh…but we moved it to Saturday.

F: Oh…well….I’m sorry! I can’t be there for your Saturday birthday….so I’m calling to wish you Happy Birthday today…

DMH: Ok…

Silence…LONG silence…and then the light bulb goes on….she’s waiting for me to wish her a Happy Birthday…

F: !!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

DMH: Thank you…I love you!!!

F: Oh, I love you, too, baby!

DMH: Ok, I have to go now!!!

(She has to go? Go where? She’s five!)

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Celebration!!!

We don’t really live in a small town…we live in a city that FEELS like a small town…

Small towns have big 4th of July celebrations. Redlands is no exception…
Flags

Of course, we had to participate!!!
S&F

There was a huge celebration at the University of Redlands (with LOTS and LOTS of people!)…
people

They had a presentation of the colors…
Color Guard1

With a color-guard…
Color Guard2

And a marching pipe band…
pipe band

We had the required fly over….
Flyover

And sky divers…
skydivers3
skydivers2
Skydivers1

A rock and roll band that was really good…
rock band

And, of course fireworks…
fireworks4
fireworks3
fireworks2
fireworks1

All in all…a FABULOUS 4th!!!

Cheers!!!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Bad decisions…

Have you ever made a decision bad enough that you thought it was going to ruin the rest of your life?

Once upon a time, I didn’t think I had ever made a decision that bad, but I’ve come to believe that I have made just one…and its significant. Its life-altering…and the alterations are not good.

I made a decision that opened me up to a situation that is just plain bad. The decision was made some time ago…and frankly, at the time, I thought I had all the facts and that I know what I was opening myself up to. I was wrong.

This decision isn’t a “I shouldn’t have had that last cup of coffee” decision. It’s a You-Are-Going-To-Have-To-Live-With-This-The-Rest-Of-Your-Life decision. And frankly the weight of the endless misery I know I will be in over this is on my mind heavily today.

Most days, the consequences are nothing to which I pay much attention. But some days the consequences are so in my face that I just want to scream and run.

How could I have been so stupid?

How could I have bought into the advertisement of the silver lining without checking for the size of the cloud to which it was attached?

This situation will always have circumstances that get under my skin, that irritate me, that point boldly to my absolute ignorance, that hurt me, that cause me anxiety, that leave me feeling helpless…its ugly and its downright painful.

Its almost unthinkable – an entire future lived with this situation hanging around, making it impossible for me to ever forget that I did this to myself, that I opened this door, that I allowed something into my life that was BAD.

My saving grace is that I give my situation to God...pretty much every day, I hand it off to him when I wake up and I say, “Here. You handle this today. I simply cannot.”

Some days, God doesn’t really take it from me. He lets me live with it. I think there are still lots of lessons I will learn from this one bad decision, this one bad situation. He wants me to be face to face with the problems I cause myself when I don’t consult Him about my choices.

Most days, He says, “Ok” and takes the burden of it off of me. Those days, I don’t want to go to sleep, because in the morning, I may have to take it back again, to deal with it again, to be face to face with it, to feel the pain I have caused myself.

I seem to be forever asking, “Ok, God, NOW what do I do?”

I want to find the GOOD in the entire scope of things, how it will POSITIVELY affect my life. Somedays, I just can’t see it. I don’t feel it. I cannot imagine it ever being a joyful place in my life. I cannot imagine it ever being right and ok.

Perhaps that is the problem…because I cannot believe the situation will ever change or that the door will ever close on this situation, it cannot ever be any better. Maybe this is supposed to be my act of faith…I’m supposed to step out in it and believe it will either disappear or get better?

I don’t know. I wish I did.