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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Verse of the day:

Matthew 6:14-15

The King James we all know and love says this:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.


The Amplified says it this way:

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their [a]reckless and willful sins, [b]leaving them, letting them go, and [c]giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their [d]reckless and willful sins, [e]leaving them, letting them go, and [f]giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.

And the Message Bible says it this way:

In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.

I LOVE this “reckless and willful sins” part of the Amplified. And I love the piece of the Message Bible that reads “If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”

Here’s my translation: You get what you give.

If you cannot forgive somebody else, then you can’t receive forgiveness. Its bondage. That simple. That clear…and it’s a powerful force on humanity…

So, I asked myself – am I keeping track of wrongs? Do I hold somebody else in the bondage of unforgiveness? Do I hold myself in unforgiveness? Do I hold GOD in unforgiveness?

Oh, yes…

And the list of things I’m keeping track of is LONG…

VERY LONG!

Here I am, seeking forgiveness, looking for relief, yearning for something bigger, better, different, fulfilled, rewarding…

But I’m lugging my 10-ton list of people who have hurt me or wronged me into every situation. And sometimes, there is just no room for a 10-ton list!

The list is varied…things as big as my ex-husband and as tiny as that guy who cut me off on the freeway.

I once held my husband in unforgiveness for six months over a missed birthday! SIX MONTHS! That is a lot of wasted time over a card, don’t you think?

Sometimes we think that people should know better than do behave a certain way. We think that we would never do that to them, so why don’t they realize they shouldn’t do the same thing to us…it can get very complicated. Mostly because what makes perfect sense to you doesn’t always mean the same thing to somebody else.

The plain and simple truth is that they do the best with what they have to work with at the time. That guy that cuts you off on the freeway - whatever is going on in his head and heart – that is all he has to work with in that moment. We are incredibly impulsive creatures and we don’t often sit ourselves down to survey our knowledge base before making decisions about how we act – especially not on the freeway (and other such situations!). Much of the decision making we do is done on the fly, in the moment and motivated by emotion. That makes for some powerfully misguided decisions!

Even those people who abuse us or hurt us terribly deserve forgiveness. That is not to say that you should be a doormat, nor is it to say that you should hang out in a violent or abusive situation. We are not called to be doormats. Everyone should be free of such situations. And full freedom includes forgiving the other person. As long as you are holding that person in unforgiveness for the things they have done, they are allowed to continue to torture you without even being in your life.

Holding people in unforgiveness causes us to make vows: we do that “I will never…” thing. I will never be with a man like him again…I will never let somebody else control my money again…and so on and so on. Some recognition of the behavior that got you into a bad situation is healthy. It can assist with making wiser decisions later on…but to make an “I will never…” statement tends to bind us to or away from things that might actually be healthy in a later situation! Its insulation, for sure…but insulation keeps things in as well as out…Its good for houses and bad for hearts.

So, I’m making a list of things I am still holding people accountable for.

I’m sure it will be a very long list.

And guess what…I’M even on that list!

These things are long gone and over. They make little difference in my life now and going forward.

They deserve to be released and I deserve freedom!

1 comment:

amazing grace said...

hey girl---thanks for your sweet comment----can you believe i finally have a daughter???!!!! I am so estatic and overjoyed!!!

What a beautiful blessing!! i have her picture hanging everywhere....can't wait to go get her!!!